Bittersweet

I'm sitting here thinking about how great it is to have pretty much everything ready for our trip to Mexico. In 1 week we will be on the beach, hopefully a little inebriated. But my chest is tight and my stomach hurts a little. 2 years ago, these feelings would have been caused by excitement and eagerness. But now that I have my sweet little boy, my chest is tight from withholding a tiny bit of tears imagining how much I'm going to miss that charming smile of his. And my stomach hurts for fear of anything happening while we're away. It's true that life is never the same after having a child. But it's not the big things, like being more tired or having less time to yourself, that surprise me. It's times like these where I truly think twice about if I should just stay here and let Cory have a fun Mexican getaway! Of course, I would never really be that crazy! But just the thought crossing through my mind reminds me of just how much I would sacrifice for that little boy. Every single day I fall in love with him more and more. Even though this potty training thing is KILLING me (I have zero patience for it, and fully expect him to be potty trained when we get back from our trip because I cannot handle it!). I would take Holdyn peeing all over me over any day I ever had before he was in my life. So Holdyn... Mama loves you. I promise to be extra safe and buy you something awesome. I know you're not going to even miss us, what with having Grandmas and Aunts smothering you every second we're gone. But we will MISS you. I already miss you and you're asleep in the the next room. I love you buddy :)